Elkhorn

I took Max to music class last night in Elkhorn. Driving in Elkhorn and seeing all of the blue ribbons for Lane pulled at my heart. I love how the community came together and rallied for this family, it makes me honored to be from a state and a community that is genuine with true Midwest charm. I’m proud to be a Nebraskan. I was overcome with emotion and couldn’t help but cry for that family, for that mom. In the English language there are orphans, widows, widowers, but there is no word for a parent who loses a child because that is how horrible the loss is. When you lose a child you are haunted with a lifetime of wonder and ‘what if’s’. 

To that mom- You don’t know me, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to live through this nightmare. I’m sorry you have to discover a strength within yourself you may not have known you had. I’m sorry your life will always be defined by before and after the day your son died. I’m sorry you have to learn a “new normal”. I’m sorry you have to sit in his room knowing he will never sleep in his bed again. I’m sorry you are going to look at his toys and remember the joy they brought him and the pain it’s going to cause in your heart. I’m sorry for the physical pain you will feel in your arms because they are now empty. I’m sorry you had to live through burying your child. I’m sorry you’re never going to experience his first day of kindergarten, graduation, his wedding, his kids, and all of the other milestones… there are so many things people can say, but I’m just so sorry. I have cried for you, hurt for you, and prayed for you. 

There are going to be days when you want to punch something- do it. If you want to sit in a closet to hide and cry- do it. If you want to blare music or scream at God- do it. No one can tell you “the right way” to handle this situation because how you need to process this tragedy is the right way, remember that. It’s sad, but we live in a world where everyone thinks they are the perfect parent and it is OK to blame or shame other parents, ignore them. The most flawed individuals are the quickest to point fingers and blame others.

 As the days pass I will always pray for you and I pray God wraps you in his arms as everything is felt and just holds you close.

Take Care,
Lisa