If someone would have asked me what I would be doing 9 months from now the day Macie was born I never would have said this. I never thought this would be my life... devastated and mourning the loss of my daughter. I am too young for this, but most days I feel like I am 27 going on 60. I have experienced more life and pain than anyone needs to in a lifetime. I have experienced pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Yesterday and today I have been having a really hard time. Granted every day is a challenge, but yesterday and today I have had a hard time focusing and staying dry eyed at work. I get to thinking about Macie and I hear her cooing or belly laughing in my head and then I will look at her pictures I have on my desk and I want to bawl my eyes out...This hurts. I believe the saying goes 1 step forward and 2 steps back...
9 months ago today at this time I was holding and enjoying my hours old perfect, beautiful baby girl...I wish I could go back in time. I want her back. I miss her. This isn't fair...
I have been having a horrible day. Thanks for listening friends.