Wednesday, July 6, 2011

9 Months...

Hey Friends,

If someone would have asked me what I would be doing 9 months from now the day Macie was born I never would have said this. I never thought this would be my life... devastated and mourning the loss of my daughter. I am too young for this, but most days I feel like I am 27 going on 60. I have experienced more life and pain than anyone needs to in a lifetime. I have experienced pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Yesterday and today I have been having a really hard time. Granted every day is a challenge, but yesterday and today I have had a hard time focusing and staying dry eyed at work. I get to thinking about Macie and I hear her cooing or belly laughing in my head and then I will look at her pictures I have on my desk and I want to bawl my eyes out...This hurts. I believe the saying goes 1 step forward and 2 steps back...

9 months ago today at this time I was holding and enjoying my hours old perfect, beautiful baby girl...I wish I could go back in time. I want her back. I miss her. This isn't fair...

I have been having a horrible day. Thanks for listening friends.

Take Care,


  1. Lisa,
    I wish we could go back in time too then all of our Angels would be here. How great that would be. I have been praying for you and Chris. I know that God will give you the strength that you need to make it through these hard times. Just look at it like this, we are one more day closer to seeing our babies again. Sending my love to you <3

  2. I am sorry you have to go through this. I think of you and Macie, and a bunch of the other moms who have to deal with this unfair hand dealt to them. I am praying for you and your husband. (hugs)

  3. I'm so sorry for your pain. I know what you mean about feeling much older than you are. Praying for your heart tonight ♥

  4. I am so sorry for the bad days, and I wish there was something I could do! I am always thinking and praying for you and your husband!

  5. We love you and say prayers for you, Chris and Macie all the time! You are an inspiration to all Mommies with your strength and faith. It is so unfair and I just think that all the time, it's not fair!!! She was so sweet and beautiful and you guys are wonderful parents. I don't understand. I just pray for God to send you comfort and peace each day.