Wednesday, July 20, 2011

July 25th

Hey Friends,

To say that I am dreading July 25th could be the understatement of the century. I'm scared for that date to arrive after the past year of my life. It will mark the 6 month anniversary of Macie receiving her angel wings and the 1 year mark for my best friend Jenny. In the back of my mind I can't help but think, "whose next"? In the same thought I always think why me. I know God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but some days I think he has given me way more than I can or should have to handle. My daughter, my life, has been gone for almost 6 months. It really doesn't seem possible. I still remember this day 6 months ago like it was yesterday. It was January 20th, the day after Chris' birthday.

The snow in Kansas City was horrible and Chris had to plow all night on his birthday and didn't get home until the next afternoon. Macie and I played and slept and then played some more. I still remember every detail. It was the first time I got her to belly laugh so I just kept trying to get her to over and over, but I never could get it on video. Every time I started to take video she would get quiet like she knew what I was up to.  The second I put the video down she would belly laugh like clock work. I took a lot of pictures the night of Macie and sent them to Chris and put Happy Birthday on them. I hated that he wasn't home on his birthday, but I just kept thinking there will be plenty more so it wasn't a huge deal. The next day the daycare was closed due to the weather. I didn't go anywhere that day and my parents came in that night to hang out with Macie for the weekend. I don't know why I remember every little detail, but I do. I could tell you what time I woke up, what time she woke up, what time I fed her, what outfit I put her in, everything.

One of the pictures I took the night of Chris' birthday is the picture we chose to have put on her headstone. It is below and she is the prettiest baby I have ever seen, but I'll be the first to admit I'm bias :). I also put below a couple of my video's of me being goofy trying to get Macie to belly laugh. She definitely already had the "mom you are weird" look down! Enjoy!

Take Care,


  1. She is beautiful Lisa! I will be praying for you to get through the 25th with a smile on your face, and great memories of both of your special angels in your heart! God Bless!

  2. She is definitely one of the cutest babies I've ever seen! Absolutely beautiful. You can see her love for you in her eyes. 6 months was really tough for me... the entire 6th month was and even now at 7 1/2, I'm still really sad a lot. It's all just hard. I know you must miss her like crazy. thinking of you, Stacy

  3. she's beautiful. i love the look she's giving you in the videos!! was NOT going to happen that night!! i'm so sorry for your loss.

  4. Lisa it has also been 6 months since I lost my 4 month old son Maddox. I always tried to get Max to laugh by being silly n making the weirdest noises LOL These videos are precious and reminded me of my dorky motherly self, trying to get my baby to laugh. Maddox was my first and only child, and probably will always be my only child. These videos are so special, Macie is so cute! <3 hugs <3

  5. Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you today...