Monday, May 9, 2011

Stronger? Maybe?

Hey Friends,

I woke up this morning and felt like I could have slept for another 12 hours. Apparently my overly emotional day yesterday drained me more than I had expected. I felt like I was in a daze this morning. I was so groggy. And when I woke up I looked over into Macie's crib like I do every morning and have every morning since she was born. Her crib is in our room right next to our bed and we haven't taken it out and I don't know when I will be ready for it to move. Usually when I see it first thing in the morning my eyes will start to fill up so I quickly get up and jump in the shower. However this morning a strange thing happened. When I woke up and looked at it my eyes didn't fill up. Instead I just sat there for a couple minutes and prayed for strength and peace and I survived. It still hurts, but I felt stronger at the same time. It may be a fluke, but it was a different feeling and I have no idea if this is considered a step forward or not.

This week is also a big week because we will cross yet another milestone. Macie was here for 3 months and 19 days and she will have been gone 3 months and 19 days this Saturday. Sunday marks a new day, a new journey. Sunday marks 3 months and 20 days since our precious little girl got her Angel Wings. It's hard to believe that's it's been that long since I have held her. 

Take Care,


  1. Praying for you!!! Sending Hugs and my Love your way!!!<3 I know that Macie is there giving you that peace you need and God is there giving you the strength you need!!! You have a Beautiful Angel and she ( her story and the love you have for her) is truly a blessing to me!!!

  2. Your entry was especially moving today. I have a lot of hope for you and for others in your shoes. I hope you continue to find peace and strength in quiet but fulfilling ways.