I never thought Macie's first Easter would be like this. We went to the cemetery to put her Easter bouquet on her grave today. It's just so unfair. The first Holiday without her and I have found myself angry and so sad. When we were leaving Chris said this isn't the way it was suppose to be. He is right, it's not. We should have been getting her all dressed up in her new Easter dress with a big bow on her head and showing her off. Not pulling into the cemetery to put flowers on our daughters grave. I'm sure she looked gorgeous today with her angel wings learning first hand what this day truly means.
One of my baby shower gifts was a set of bibs that had every Holiday on them that say babies 1st. Macie wore her Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year one. She never gets to wear any of the other ones... just another thing that breaks my heart. I put her Easter one in with her bouquet I made that we layed on top of her grave. She isn't with us today, but it's still her first Easter. I will post a picture soon.
Tomorrow is the 25th. Tomorrow marks 3 months since Macie got her angel wings. In a few more weeks she will have been gone longer than she was here. Hard to believe and such a gut wrenching thought when it stills feels like yesterday to me.