Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Hey Friends,
Crystal and I met the first day of Freshman year at College of St. Mary and became instant friends. We have been best friends since and that was almost 9 years ago.
When we were leaving the hospital that night and all of our family had been called I looked at Chris and said I have to call Crystal. She can't hear about this from anyone, but me. He asked if I wanted him to call her, but even though I knew it was going to be an impossible phone call to make I knew she had to hear my voice.
It takes a lot to shock her, but she was definitely shocked. She just kept saying I don't believe you, there is no way Macie is gone. I even had Chris get on the phone because I started crying too hard to get any words out. When I regained my composure and got back on the phone she had already gone into the mode that only a best friend can. She was coming to KC and was going to be here with me for whatever I needed. Well it was already pitch black out so she waited until the next morning and I'm glad she did. The drive from Omaha to KC is horrible anyways, but especially at night.
I have said to her many times, I did everything right. Crystal just kept saying yes you did and Macie knew you loved her all you have to do is look at all of your videos. Look at how her face lights up when she hears your & Chris' voices. She told me many times that I was an amazing mother and that we may not understand, but she was certain there was a plan. I trust Crystal and for some reason when she said this it made more sense then someone I barely know saying it to me. I also kept asking her, Where do I go from here? She was honest and said she didn't know, but that it was important for me to take it one day at a time and to always remember that Macie will forever be in my heart and no one can take her from me there.
I hung out with Crystal the other night and she said she now takes a deep breath every time she sees my name pop up on her phone before she answers. I call her all the time so in the grand scheme of things her receiving horrible news from me is 0.000001% of the time, but it dawned on me when she said this that I was the one that called her to tell her about Jenny. That was also a horrible phone call to make as well, but again I gained my composure and knew she had to hear it from me. I know there is texting or facebook, but those are not appropriate ways for people to find out such news in my opinion.
Crystal and I have been best friends for a long time and we have always talked about everything and we have always been available for whatever, whenever. During the past 8 months her best friend card has definitely been working overtime. She has listened to me many times and let me bounce things off of her of how I feel about this or that or how I am feeling at that exact moment. We are still waiting on the autopsy so we still don't know for sure what happened to our precious Macie, but Crystal has heard every possibility I think it may have been. (I have never been one to just sit and wait and this is no exception).
The day of the viewing she left a note and a present at the front desk of the hotel we were staying at. When one of the employees brought it up to our room I was shocked and didn't know what it was or who it was from. When I opened it I got tears in my eyes because it was a mother of pearl necklace and it is gorgeous just like Macie. My best friend had known what I needed. I instantly put it on and then sat down and read the note she had left with it. She told me how beautiful Macie was and what an amazing mother I was and still am. She said she may not have the answers, but she knew that the memories I had from the 3 months and 19 days of Macie's far too short life were memories no one can take. We are always honest with each other and she said the next couple days were going to be impossible and she couldn't imagine. After I read the note I had Chris read it and he saw the necklace and he said Crystal has been and always will be an amazing friend and he's so glad I have a friend like her. I have worn the necklace everyday since that day and I will wear everyday until forever. 
Crystal has always been someone I can lean on, say anything to and ask her opinion and I will be forever grateful for our friendship. I am so glad I met her the first day of college and that we just clicked the way we did and still do.
Below is a picture of Crystal and I and then there is also a link to one of the many videos I was referring to above. These videos are hard for me to watch as they pull at my heart strings because I long to hold her, hear her, see her. I am so thankful I took all of the videos I did. I get to see my little girl alive and cooing at me and these are the memories that can never be erased. (This is only 1 video there are about 8 of them on YouTube if you want to watch all of them)
In this video Chris walks in and Macie can hear his voice and you can see the way she lights up when she hears her daddy. :)
Enjoy and Take Care Friends,


  1. I couldn't have said it better myself Lisa. She is an amazing person. The night she called me about Macie she already knew she needed to find the strength to be there for you. She has an amazing gift of helping people through the most difficult times in their lives. And somehow helps you smile when you didn't think it was possible. I love her so much...and you know exactly why.

  2. God always puts friends like Crystal in our lives and I believe he does this for the simple fact that he knows what we are going to face before it even happens. So he finds that one true friend that is our rock, ear to listen, and shoulder to cry on and places them in our life and no matter how many miles apart you are, they always find a way to get to you when you need them. Praying for you and your family.